he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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