this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize