The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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