He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize