if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
