Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
