What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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