I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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