Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize