Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Randomize
