ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
