his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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