Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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