and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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