Sry I called you an 8
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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