Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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