Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
