Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
