the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
