New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
