By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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