he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
