even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
