Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
