Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
