This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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