I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize