i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
