Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
