I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize