That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
