She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
