You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize