worst night to have a conscience
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
