The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
