In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
