If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize