Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
