By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
