Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
