He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
