Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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