shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
