He is such a slut. More and more my type.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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