oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
