Are we in a gay sports bar?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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