how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
