Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
