There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
