me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
