I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
