Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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