I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
