Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
