You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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