i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
