I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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