he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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