but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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