I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
