Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
we should paint friendship bongs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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